Alan! I looked up WD40 and it looks like it could lift off anything, including my eyebrows 😆. I’m sorry you were punished as a boy for such an easy mistake. Do you remember Poison and Kouros from the eighties? My Lord, none of us had taste
I wore Poison for a bit, Leah. I thought it was the height of sophistication, then realised I could smell it from the far end of a commuter carriage, when a woman down the other end was wearing it and I wasn't. So I stopped!
Man you make me laugh and thank goodness you leave the fridge and have the fluff in the corners too! I often worry that, should I die in my sleep, people will have to clean (out) my house!
At the risk of sounding like a man who knows how to clean, WD40 works wonders on shower soap scum, and it has a manly, mechanic's garage kinda smell - which may be preferable to a broken bottle of Chanel d'Homme.
Your wonderful story also conjured up a painful childhood memory. I dropped my dad's glass bottle of Old Spice. There were serious consequences, suffice to say this was waaaay back in the days when parents could hit kids. Having said that, I find the smell of Old Spice alluring. And it now comes in a plastic bottle. I suggest your husband buys some 🤣
Belatedly read this funny piece by Leah and noticed your comment. My, dad's aftershave was Old Spice, so that's bringing back memories (not bad ones, fortunately). Also, did not know about WD40 working on shower scum. Might try that. Thanks!
Wendy, I'd recommend Barkeepers Friend for the shower. In retrospect, it's better than WD40. In a shaker like the old VIM, purchased at Mitre10 Crofton Downs
Loved this! An odd quotidian moment spun out to something far richer. 'Once I’ve slung the dustpan back under the sink I go back to normal, which is what I want, and the world deserves.' Never saw it that way before, but definitely will now. Beautiful.
Thank you, Dan! I've just subscribed to YOUR Substack and have learned something already (that NZ sheep poems are a genre). I can't wait to start on your back catalogue
Properly laughing at this, Leah. Scrolling back to read some of your pieces from before I subscribed. What a joy. "Trust me, if this is how you spend some of your life, the only way you want your Tonka beans is refried in a tortilla."
So funny. And true! If you have pets – or family – you'll never win at housekeeping.
NIce - and funny but more clearly so loving (not the cleaning - the family) - feeling a tad guilty about the sunlit dust/dog hair tumbleweed rolling across the wooden floors at my place.
BTW facts about those Tonka beans - no they don't make Tonka Toys out of them
They come from teak tree - and are banned in a couple of countries (including the US) as dangerous to health though clearly less so than alcohol or guns which aren't banned in enough places.
That article reads like instructions on how to commit a murder is a Dorothy Sayer-ish mystery. Hysterical that the US is the biggest importer. When is one person's 'not enough' someone else's 'too much'
I have a friend who is very allergic to Coumarin - difficult when you live in Turkey and cinnamon is the national spice.
BTW-around here getting all the glass shards swept and vacuumed up is pretty much impossible with 100 year old wooden floors. What's your secret?
The laundry does languish on chairs, my usually helpful youngest now just grabs the clothes he's going to wear and leaves the rest, bless.
My adorable partner once said he was worried when we moved in together that I'd be a clean freak but now I just don't care.
Also toilets in the US have a ridiculously high water level, not like our NZ loos, the bowls are a different shape too and the water sits half way up the bowl xx
Alan! I looked up WD40 and it looks like it could lift off anything, including my eyebrows 😆. I’m sorry you were punished as a boy for such an easy mistake. Do you remember Poison and Kouros from the eighties? My Lord, none of us had taste
I wore Poison for a bit, Leah. I thought it was the height of sophistication, then realised I could smell it from the far end of a commuter carriage, when a woman down the other end was wearing it and I wasn't. So I stopped!
Man you make me laugh and thank goodness you leave the fridge and have the fluff in the corners too! I often worry that, should I die in my sleep, people will have to clean (out) my house!
At the risk of sounding like a man who knows how to clean, WD40 works wonders on shower soap scum, and it has a manly, mechanic's garage kinda smell - which may be preferable to a broken bottle of Chanel d'Homme.
Your wonderful story also conjured up a painful childhood memory. I dropped my dad's glass bottle of Old Spice. There were serious consequences, suffice to say this was waaaay back in the days when parents could hit kids. Having said that, I find the smell of Old Spice alluring. And it now comes in a plastic bottle. I suggest your husband buys some 🤣
Belatedly read this funny piece by Leah and noticed your comment. My, dad's aftershave was Old Spice, so that's bringing back memories (not bad ones, fortunately). Also, did not know about WD40 working on shower scum. Might try that. Thanks!
Wendy, I'd recommend Barkeepers Friend for the shower. In retrospect, it's better than WD40. In a shaker like the old VIM, purchased at Mitre10 Crofton Downs
Loved this! An odd quotidian moment spun out to something far richer. 'Once I’ve slung the dustpan back under the sink I go back to normal, which is what I want, and the world deserves.' Never saw it that way before, but definitely will now. Beautiful.
Thank you, Dan! I've just subscribed to YOUR Substack and have learned something already (that NZ sheep poems are a genre). I can't wait to start on your back catalogue
Thanks for the sub! More sheep poems to come :)
You are a goddess. And I don’t mean the domestic kind. What a beautiful piece.
Michele! YOU have the kindest heart
Properly laughing at this, Leah. Scrolling back to read some of your pieces from before I subscribed. What a joy. "Trust me, if this is how you spend some of your life, the only way you want your Tonka beans is refried in a tortilla."
So funny. And true! If you have pets – or family – you'll never win at housekeeping.
You’re wonderfully supportive, Wendy. Thank you! I’m very glad to have you as a subscriber
NIce - and funny but more clearly so loving (not the cleaning - the family) - feeling a tad guilty about the sunlit dust/dog hair tumbleweed rolling across the wooden floors at my place.
BTW facts about those Tonka beans - no they don't make Tonka Toys out of them
They come from teak tree - and are banned in a couple of countries (including the US) as dangerous to health though clearly less so than alcohol or guns which aren't banned in enough places.
OMG you're right, Susan! Thanks to you I looked the beans up and this story made my hair blow back: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170620-the-delicious-flavour-with-a-toxic-secret
YIKES very seriously an OMG moment.
That article reads like instructions on how to commit a murder is a Dorothy Sayer-ish mystery. Hysterical that the US is the biggest importer. When is one person's 'not enough' someone else's 'too much'
I have a friend who is very allergic to Coumarin - difficult when you live in Turkey and cinnamon is the national spice.
BTW-around here getting all the glass shards swept and vacuumed up is pretty much impossible with 100 year old wooden floors. What's your secret?
It’s a nightmare but one good tip is to shine a torch across the floor so you can see the tiniest fragments
Useful - maybe I'll also find the contact lens I lost about 6 months ago.
But seriously - my no-fail method is walking around in bare feet in the middle of the night.
Brilliantly funny as ever - loved it, Leah!💗
The laundry does languish on chairs, my usually helpful youngest now just grabs the clothes he's going to wear and leaves the rest, bless.
My adorable partner once said he was worried when we moved in together that I'd be a clean freak but now I just don't care.
Also toilets in the US have a ridiculously high water level, not like our NZ loos, the bowls are a different shape too and the water sits half way up the bowl xx
Kathy! This has made me feel a LOT better about myself and my bathroom cleaning game!
Love this. I am exactly the same sort of housekeeper. Thank you.
We need to stand up and be counted, Lorna
Another lovely wonderfully observed piece of writing :)
Lovely Kris x