Well, here I am, so white I’m basically blue, someone who barely browns and easily burns, whose family moved from the weak light and misty fenland of East Anglia to the black sand sizzle-plate of beachy New Plymouth, who can’t spend more than ten minutes in full sun without her scalp beginning to prickle, who has avoided shorts and strappy tops for years because she looks like she’s been poached in milk; and it’s never once crossed my mind to use fake tan.
You are such a tonic, Leah! There is always leg makeup. Think water soluble tan tights, fragrance free. I wore it once and got cat called. The young dude was blinded by day-drinking lake side so yeah nah.
Curse you both! I bought some of this today. My new skirt has a slit up the front and no one should be exposed to my white inner thighs. This is basically a Public Safety issue.
So good. Love the eyebrows comments. Surely one of the greatest fashion/beauty crimes of the century, along with fascinators? Which, btw, are fascinating for all the wrong reasons.
Good luck with the fake tan. I discovered I'm allergic to the key ingredient in in - DHA. It's in all of them. Things go OK for about 24 hours and then my legs erupted into hives so bad I wanted to scratch my legs off. For the sake of science, I tried again a few years later. Same result. I shall remain alabaster.
Unlike Leah I don't care about the eyebrows but I do have the all over spray tan before I get to Fiji. When I get to the poolside bar thirty minutes after I arrive at the airport,I want to look like I've been there for three months. ( I even carry my own swizzle sticks.)
There is the much more embarrassing moment when the woman doing the spraying asks if you "dress to the right or to the left," so she can put the shadow in the right place.
No use for fake tan over here, Leah. It was pitch black by the time I’d finished walking the dog at 4.30. Rain, howling wind. This one’s Storm Bert, apparently. Have you ever heard of anything less threatening?
You are such a tonic, Leah! There is always leg makeup. Think water soluble tan tights, fragrance free. I wore it once and got cat called. The young dude was blinded by day-drinking lake side so yeah nah.
I would definitely try this, Jane!! Where do you get it? I'd like to be wolf-whistled by a drunkard in the daytime
Like a good writer I wrote about it. Discover 'Sally Hansen - Airbrush Legs' here
https://janebloomfieldblog.blogspot.com/2020/10/i-wore-leg-makeup-got-cat-called.html Lordy this was four years ago. I still have the tube. Once used! (Hope it's not annoying to put this link in your comments section.)
Not at ALL!!!! Am grateful
Curse you both! I bought some of this today. My new skirt has a slit up the front and no one should be exposed to my white inner thighs. This is basically a Public Safety issue.
You MUST report back! 💃🏻
It's amazing! Went on evenly. Looks natural. Although I've only tried it on my lower legs so far.
Yes please - full report!
Oooh!!!! This is valuable intel, indeed!
Very glad you chose to write about this. It gave me a huge chuckle (and some insiders tips on self tanning)
So good. Love the eyebrows comments. Surely one of the greatest fashion/beauty crimes of the century, along with fascinators? Which, btw, are fascinating for all the wrong reasons.
Snortle! You're right. The rule should be, a hat or NOTHING
Poignant & hilariously honest. A joy to read as always Leah ❤️
Oh you are a good sort, Sam
Didn’t see that ending coming. So very lovely!
Nor did I, Dan!!!!
Good luck with the fake tan. I discovered I'm allergic to the key ingredient in in - DHA. It's in all of them. Things go OK for about 24 hours and then my legs erupted into hives so bad I wanted to scratch my legs off. For the sake of science, I tried again a few years later. Same result. I shall remain alabaster.
Sigh. Isn't it so complicated? I'd look awful in a kaftan else I'd waft around all summer in one of those
Unlike Leah I don't care about the eyebrows but I do have the all over spray tan before I get to Fiji. When I get to the poolside bar thirty minutes after I arrive at the airport,I want to look like I've been there for three months. ( I even carry my own swizzle sticks.)
There is the much more embarrassing moment when the woman doing the spraying asks if you "dress to the right or to the left," so she can put the shadow in the right place.
Gary McCormick.
Hahahahahaha! I NEED this to be true!
Thank you, so funny. I had a friend who offered me permanent make up eyebrows. I often wonder what would have happened if I had said yes.
It's just too risky! The only person with tattooed eyebrows in popular culture was Michael Jackson. I can't believe it's a mainstream thing now
Yes, it’s very popular in the States.
No use for fake tan over here, Leah. It was pitch black by the time I’d finished walking the dog at 4.30. Rain, howling wind. This one’s Storm Bert, apparently. Have you ever heard of anything less threatening?
I hope you're safe and sound, Wendy. Woke up to alarming news reports from the UK
I was looking at news of flooding in Wales just now, Leah. We’re ok on the south coast... I think!
I love our equal and opposite perspectives on the planet. I remember when I first found you, Wellington was relentlessly soggy.
I so much enjoyed this journey through the mundane. Exactly what my soul needed this morning. Thank you!
Oh, you are welcome, Sam
I think of your writing as a delicious weekend treat, to be anticipated and savoured. I do love your turn of phrase.
How lovely of you!!! I tend to hit send way before I should hit send. Every time. But blogs aren't supposed to be perfect, is my thinking 💐